Motley Crue axeman wants to have a biography done – but writers keep failing auditions because they’re not rock’n'roll enough

Mick Mars

The write stuff: Mars

Mick Mars wants to join his Motley Crue bandmates and have his own book published – but he’s having trouble finding someone to write it for him.

The guitarist is keen to have his own say on the band’s 30-year career once he identifies the correct candidate to do the word work.

Mars tells The Aquarian: “I want the right liar!

“I had a couple of guys come over and give me a ten-page thing on what they wanted to do. But they didn’t know what to write about and they didn’t know what I’m about.

“I took this guy out on tour with us so he could help me write. I wanted to show him what the road was all about – but he just sat in my bus and got drunk. I just said to him, ‘Get outta here!’”

Mars knows anything he puts out under his name will have to compete with the bestselling band biography The Dirt, to say nothing of his colleagues’ own titles.

He says: “I don’t want to put something out that’s dumb. It’s got to be real, and something people can relate to, like The Dirt was. These people weren’t even close. Get me a rock’n'roll guy who knows about rock’n'roll.”

Of the band’s three decades of excess, Mars says his only regret is having to live with  ankylosing spondylitis, an extreme form of arthritis which causes him great discomfort.

“We did what we did, so there’s no regrets – well, not from me anyway. When I was 30 I didn’t think I’d live until I was 60. Now I just got a life insurance plan, and they insured me until I’m 100 years old. That’s how healthy I am… but I’m not making it to 100!”

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