Darrell’s girlfriend calls on former Pantera bandmates Anselmo and Paul to settle their differences in the name of tragic axeman
Communication breakdown: Pantera
The long-term girlfriend of tragic Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrell Abbott has called on his ex-bandmates to end their feud in the name of the dead musician.
Drummer Vinnie Paul, Dimebag’s brother, and frontman Phil Anselmo have not spoken since Pantera split acrimoniously in 2003. The axeman was shot dead the following year on stage with new band Damageplan.
Paul’s bad feeling for Anselmo was fuelled by the singer’s negative statements about Dimebag published the week he died, although he’d said them some weeks previously.
Now Dime’s partner Rita Haney wants the pair to bury the hatchet. She tells RockMyMonkey: “Everybody still has resentment towards each other about things in the past.
“It’s easy to direct your anger at the wrong people. Philip didn’t murder Darrell and they would never have wanted that. Yeah, I resent Philip for becoming a jackass and a drug addict, and I’m a little sketchy about trusting him all the way yet.
“But some of the things he’s emailed and some of the thing he’s said – that’s the Philip I know, the ‘stronger than all’. There’s always room in my heart for him – I love him.”
Haney says Paul isn’t happy that she’s reopened communications with Anselmo: “He’s a little hot at me,” she admits. “I just hope some day he sees the light that I know Darrell is about, which is forgiving. I know it’ll come in time – you’ve got to let go to continue on.
“Darrell was probably the person who had the most forgiving nature. There were things we all did to each other and he always forgave. Some of them were really brutal – like the things with Philip and his drug abuse.
“Our issues are petty. That’s not the big picture. The big picture is all these people who loved Darrell. They’re what matters – not who we’re mad at.”
she made headlines when didn’t allow anselmo to go to dimebag’s funeral, now SHE’S calling on THEM to reconcile? whatever! someone wants to get back in the spotlight
Stranger is a douchewaffle who doesn’t understand forgiveness.
[...] “Darrell was probably the person who had the most forgiving nature. There were things we all did to each other and he always forgave. Some of them were really brutal – like the things with Philip and his drug abuse. “Our issues are petty. That’s not the big picture. The big picture is all these people who loved Darrell. They’re what matters – not who we’re mad at.” source RND [...]
I heard prior that Rita was talking again with Phil. Sure Phil lead the band into a downward Spiral, but people fuck up. Just because of a person’s negligent phase means that they will always be like that. People do change, and Phil has proven that. Phil as Rita stated is “Stronger Than All” Phil. People do deserve forgiveness, and Phil should be forgiven. Regardless of what Phil said about Dime, we all know Phil really didn’t feel that way about his brother. Now, Phil has to live with that burden for the rest of his life, that he never got to say sorry to Dime one last time. I watched my very own brother wither away for 8 months almost completely brain dead because of some asshole had a grudge out for my brother. I forgave that man that did that to my family, before he killed himself. People do deserve to be forgiven.
@Aaron
Terrible to hear about your brother, man. You have a great perspective on forgiveness, however. For all of the awful things that Phil has said and done in the past, one must remember – as Rita mentioned – that he was not the one who killed Dime. Drugs and an inflated ego combined to create a Philip Anselmo that was a far cry from the guy that he apparently actually is at his core. Who among us hasn’t said stupid or hurtful things about a friend or family member that we deeply love but were angry with only to feel horrified about our actions / words later on? It is human to make mistakes, even disastrous ones. It is nothing but inhuman to steadfastly refuse to forgive them.
AS A SINGER GUITAR PLAYER IN A LOCAL BAND FROM INDIANAPOLIS IN.(OF COURSE WE ARE NOT GUM ON THE BOTTOM OF THESE LEGENDS SHOES)I MYSELF HAVE SAID AND DONE THINGS TO MY BAND MATES THAT WERE SIMPLY UNSPEAKABLE.I CAN NOT IMAGINE DOING SOMTHING SHITTY AND NOT BEING ABLE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT.AS A TRUE FAN OF C.F.H. I CAN NOT EVEN FATHOM HOW PHIL FEELS EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY,HE TRULY LOVED DIME.I THINK THE DRUGS JUST FUCKED HIM UP TO THE POINT HE HAD LOST TRACK OF WHAT LIFE WAS ABOUT….THE MUSIC…THE FANS…HIS BANDMATES ….HIMSELF.I BELIVE IN MY HEART THAT DIME WOULD WANT THIS GATHERING TO HAPPEN.HIS MEMORY ALONE IS REASON ENOUGH.WHEN I WALK IN TO OUR REHERSAL SPOT ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS YOU SEE IS A WALL OF POSTERS OF SO MANY GREAT MUSICANS WHO HAVE PASSED..IT IS A SOMBER MEMORIAL OF THESE FALLEN HEROS.SO AT THE END OF OUR SESSIONS WE ALL GATHER FOR A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THOSE GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN.WE THEN SHAKE HANDS AND END WITH A SHOT OF WHISKEY AND A HUG.I SHURE HOPE THE REST OF PANTERA (WITH ZAKK) CAN DO THIS.GREATNESS NEEDS ITS OWN KIND AND IT IS ONLY BEFITTING THAT ZAKK WOULD DO THIS,DIME AND HIM WERE BUDDIES..HE WOULD HAVE WANTED THIS..METAL 4 EVER!!!!
Vinnie lost his blood, so in my opinion he can live however he wants. That said, I do think Vinnie and the fans who have taken sides are overlooking one huge thing: The trash talking prior to Dime’s death was not one sided by any means. You can google the infamous war of words between Darrell/Vinnie and Phill at the time and it went on for months. Phill’s comments were more extreme, yea, but 2 wrongs don’t make a right. Also why would you even engage someone who was the equivalent of a crackhead when you know they are not in their right mind? Not blaming the Abbot bros either, perhaps they didn’t really understand all that addiction is…it is HURTFUL.
Personally, if it were someone that I once liked or cared about (and truthfully, we don’t know if Vinnie ever really did like Phill..maybe he just pretended to for the sake of a successful band), then I would likely forgive them if I knew they overcame something as powerful as an H addiction and IF I felt they were sincere. Vinnie can do what he wants, he’s not obligated nor should he feel he has to go against his gut instincts. My point is just, please, if you’re going to say ‘words’ made some raging lunatic kill your brother, then get off your high horse and accept some blame yourself, cuz you were just as involved in the name calling game at the time. But truthfully, the words had nothing to do with it. It was the psycho all along.
I have an original production video ( lost for 20 years) of Cowboys from Hell that would blow everybodie’s minds. If you ever questioned high tight the band was in the beginning- this would answer all questions……………
this was nice.
I wish all of them well, Im deeply sorry about dime.
I grew up on pantera.
I didnt “pick a side” But I wish Vinnie would grow past the 16 year old mind set.
As Phil had chenged back into the “new level” mind set, Im happy once a drugged, up, cocky junkie, now a clean, free ghost of youth.
Vinne said there would be no “pantera tour in the name of dime” I feel that there should be, Zakk said he would be happy to do it. Im sure Kerry king would like to, and many others.
I hope Vinnie paul the day hes not wasted, or high, will think what his brother would have done, and goto phils place, or call him, talk to him. Baby steps.
Rita can see that young phil again, we all can for the most part, the way he acts, the way he sounds. he atlast got the back problem takin care of.
People do change, Im living proof of that, I was once a alhoclic, now I can get a 26 pack, and it can last me 26 days. Before hand, a 26 pack would not last half the day. its a mind set. I see phil has it….
Why is it that “hell yeah” plays pantera songs? Please STOP. Unless Phils in front, the words dont mean as much, and looks kind of sorry. I hope to see the cowboys from hell, with guess spots to give thanks to dimebag…. its for respect.
Its time to let go. Forgive but never forget. Rita is right, its what Dime would have wanted. Both sides acted ignorant, but not Dime is gone. Nothing will bring him back. Get Vin, Phil, Rex & Rita and lock them in a room.
I consider myself blessed to have witnessed The rise and fall how ever sad, and tragic the road has become for all of us who Loved Pantera!!!!! The first time I met Dime was at a little shit hole off of 820 and Randol mill Road, call Manhattans, I frequented this little heavy metal wateringhole every Thursday , Fri, Sat, for three of 4 years, and on this particular night I just so happened to be sitting across from the “LOVELY RITA< Meter Maid, " after well you know the song. but that little validation of her with out killing her bartending career,would almost surley get me a free draw of Beer!!! as it did on this night.
Now I had heard of Pantera, they were local legends in DFW and They single handedly put Joe's Garage on the Map, but I had never seen them or heard them live, I can assure you their rep was strong, but Manhattans was kinda a victim of the times, It was the 80's.
Cocaine was King , but other drugs would take the 80's with divisions in Rock and Roll, that are as different as Ronald Reagan, and George Bush.
At ManHattans in the mid 80's there was a small involuntary Cult of Guys On some night there would be !0 guys
named Darrell, Myself included as well as a young fellow named Darrell Abbott, who squeezed in beside me at the bar in the pool room, and motioned Rita in for a kiss. He had just arrived at Manhattan's, from the city of it's name sake. New York. Rita was ecstatic to see him and a he sat beside me and drank a free draft beer from Rita, just as I had earlier without a thought he raised a toast to his lady and said Thanks baby!!!cheers!!! wooo hoooo!!!. The rest of the band also trickled on to a small couple of tables , crowded by the players in the 'pool room'. It was as this band of hyped up been on a plane to longs lead singer, Hollared for a round of "Flaming Dr. Peppers, and Phil Anslemo, That means you too Dimebag!!!! Along with a few other of Pantera's already numerous friends/fan base. Dime looked at me and said , You heard the man Darrell, and started to orchaestrate with his lovely Rita and a waitress who said under her breathe when I asked her what a Flaming Dr. Pepper was, They're all gonna have the runs tomorrow, that's what that is!!!
O.k. how what the fuck do I do , It's on fire man?
With a big smile he said, " You just drop it in the glass and then shoot it!!
Shoot it it's in the glass already?!! He laughed at me and said "Man , You gotta do it quick man!!!<<< just Chug That Motherfucker, Some one yelled, I think it was Phil, but I was still a little confused about what was gonna happen when the fire hit the beer.,
"To the Cowboys from Hell!!!! YEEEAAAH, Salute Cheers, He looked at me and the glasses hit the beer and I was chugging sweet foamy beer, that didn't Taste anything like DR. Pepper, unless you had set a Dr.Pepper on fire with Nearly Grain alcohol and ruined a perfectly good beer!!! From the overcrowded two tables pushed together
in the corner only minutes later, Phil was ordering another round of DP's and once again, the waitress said Diarehha!!
Dime said we need to do some real shots man, what'll it be Crown? you like Crown?
and it seems now that the stage had be set!!
Well I'm more of a Cuerevo Gold man myself,, but,….
I'll tell you what,, Two shot of Crown, Rita!! and handed me the shot, Then Cuervo on the next round!!! how does that sound?
Like Music to my ears Brother Darrell, Here's to my other brother Darrell!!! and we raised our shots…………
Later on that night for the first time I heard the man play during incognitos break and I ask the lovely Rita, ''he's your boy friend, Rita?,,,,, Well your boy can play,
She said Yeah and thats not even his Guitar!! I said I don't give a shit who's guitar it is Rita,, Your boy can really fucking play!!!! That's magic Rita!!!!
and as Dime played the blues and sang about New York City I knew then I was in the presents of Greatness but I had no Idea.
I have told that story many times and I could go on and on, but at some point the rubber meets the road and we all wake up with the screaming shits, and all any of us really every have left is the Music!!! On the Pantera 3 video, Phil put it in words that can be as true today as they were on the stage that night,
Your not gonna see any explosions or flying Dragons of any kinda shit like that, All you gonna see is the drums, the amps, the guitars and the micrphones, We aint evr been about putting on any aires [ I'm paraphrasing] Were about the Fucking Music Man, Thats All it's ever been about , and thats all it's ever gonna be about..
If for any chance happening that Vinnie should read my babbling " Did I ever tell you about the time I met Dime" story and you didn't just dismiss it as ego or some shit like that., But Dime treated me Like I was Important, or more so Like I was a freind not just a fan, or a metal head!!! Friends tell other friends when they fuck up, thats what makes them friends, and I think this is what Rita is trying to tell you, Hey People fuck up and Herion is a Bitch, but isn't it all just Rock and roll man? aybe that bridge that youv'e taken so long to so carefully burn down, and this goes for you too Phil, is just another Rock and roll song that we will never forget, But that being said and done You guys The Elders Of Domination, Have in so many was already rebuilt that bridge for the next generation, it is BUILT INTO ROCK AND ROLL. tHE SHOW MUST GO ON!!
So we can burn it down again!!!!